tiger jokes

[skydiverbill]

The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him.  "I don't know exactly...put me down for a 5."

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers; to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello, Mr. Woods.  This is the On Star operator.  We have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window.  We've called Nike.  A new club is on its way.
Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!

Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

Poor choice; he should have gone with the driver.

[Jazzdenova]

What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

 

Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn't fare very well on the driveway.

 

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.

 

Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger's spraying his balls everywhere.

 

It turns out that fixing Tiger's game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.

 

Why was Tiger's wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia.

 

What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER'S WIFE MAKES THE CUT

 

Given Tiger's racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?

 

Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart?  Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.

 

First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger:  Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?

 

What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

[Jazzdenova]

Since his little affairs have come to light, several of Tiger Woods' sponsors have dropped him.
 
However, Pfizer has decided to sponsor him.
 
They are making a new drug called Tiagra.  It's good for 18 holes