The Redneck Lottery Winner

[Rob]

The Redneck Lottery Winner
Joke: A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
 

[todd]

Sounds like me, lol. Here's one.

The redneck takes his new bride to the big city for the honeymoon. When the conceirge(sp?) realizes they just got married, he says "Newleyweds? Then you'll want the bridal suite."

The redneck says, "Naw, I reckon I'll hold her by the ears 'till she gets used to it. And just what do mean by calling me sweet?"