"Squawks"

[zero]

"Squawks" are problems noted by air force pilots and left for maintainence crews to fix before the next flight.

Here are some actual complaints logged by those air force pilots and the replies from the maintainence crews.

 (P)=problem    (S)=solution

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed.


(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.

(S) Volume set to more believable level.


(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


(P) IFF inoperative.

(S) IFF always inoperative in off mode.


(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

(S)That's what they're there for.


(P) Number three engine missing.

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.


(P) Aircraft handles funny.

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right, and be serious.


(P) Left inside tire almost needs replacement.

(S) Almost replaced left inside tire.


(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.

(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.


(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.

(S) #2 propeller seepage normal. #1,#3, and #4 propellers
    lack normal seepage


(P) Something loose in cockpit.

(S) Something tightened in cockpit.


(P) Dead bugs on windshield.

(S) live bugs on order.


(P) Target radar hums.

(S) Reprogrammed target radar with words.



Sounds a bit like our health care system.
                         
                                           Scott
 

[zero]

Somehow, c+ckpit got changed to thingypit.  
                THATS a hoot

[Dude]

Hey Zero, good stuff! The language gestapo are watching you write... any time a word like "c0ck" comes along they auto replace it with something thats supposed to replace the naughty word. So they're implying that we're all obscene and need monitoring. Many of us are moderately obscene by nature, but it gets even the innocent. Ah, freedom, where hast thou gone?

Autoland... that was good!