Still hangin on

[Lisa]

12 weeks to go and things have been crazy.  I left for a short time, but I came back knowing he can't handle the house and animals with how crappy he feels.  I really love him and can't wait for this to be over.  God, they just don't tell you how hard this will be!!!!  Even when they tell you about the side effects, they don't tell the patient "There will be times you will wish you could crawl away and die peacefully" and they don't tell the loved ones "This will be the roughest ride in your relationship, even if you thought getting clean was the hardest thing you've done.  This regimen will take you to a space of complete depletion, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually so buckle up."    Yeah, if they told us that, no one in their right mind would probably do it.  But, the bright side is we are definitely on the downward slope and his virus has been undetectable for a couple visits.  Just gotta keep hanging on.  It's gonna get better.  Certainly can't get much worse  .  Just wanted to post in case there are any other loved ones out there barely hanging on like I was...

[willy]

Lisa....I'm sorry that things are still rough.  If you have been through recovery with your husband...... you'll also remember that things didn't suddenly get GREAT the second that he quit using.  This may be the same kind of deal..... as the drugs take some time to leave the body.  No doubt this has been very hard on you too.  It is really emotionally tough to see loved ones so sick, so emotionally changed by drugs (in this case TX), or to feel unsafe or to be unable to completely remove oneself from the very thing that is so upsetting.

I hope that this will all soon pass for you.  As you have read over and over.....so much of ths is simply the effects of TX, lack of sleep, feeling like warmed over death for months, fear of the disease, of the treatment, of uncertainty, death.......  It is a very heavy ride for all involved.  Just try to keep yourself free of danger, arguments, and maintain your home as best you can.  You have permission to not do it perfectly. Just try to get thru it as well as you can.

Thanks for posting on this..... there are many that may experience the same stuff that you are but feel that it is just their own subjective experience.

Take care,
Willy

[nathalie]

hi Lisa,Thank-you so much for taking the time to  email me and Im so happy that things are going great for your husband and most importantly you.wow YOU DID IT.My boyfriend has 3 months into his treatment he is like your husband no depression but unable to work full-time,all i can say i must LOVE him lol.I have many challeneges in my life but this  one keeps me on my toes.and being a full=time mother.Im so greatful to have you members to chat with because with out it I would be lose.God Bless and hope to hear more from you.

Sincerely sweetheart