Hi I would love to talk with someone

[nathalie]

Hi I would love to talk with someone regarding the many changes that Im going through with my boyfriend being on TX.thank-you for your time and look forward to talking with you.

[willy]

Hi sweetheart.  I have not been on TX, nor have I lived  in the same house with someone on TX.  I have co-habitated a bulletin  board with a few of them though..........  (heh heh)

My experience seems to be that everybody has both physical, mental, or emotional reactions to TX.  Some of it is directly due to the chemical reaction to treatment.  Some of it has to do with feeling like warmed over crap for months on end.  Much of it must also have to due with fear, (all the various types of fear that accompany the disease and treatment), expectation, and uncertainty.  Some had other problems external of HCV or treatment before being diagnosed or having to treat ( such as financial, job, marriage,and other health concerns) .   Finally, my 17 year old daughter has an expression, that anyone who hasn't slept in 3 days is technically insane. I would surmise that simple lack of good quality sleep for months may also account for some unusual behavior.  What I'm saying is......these folks on treatment have a lot on their plate.  Not only do they have to deal with each one of these; but usually more than one symptom .(or answer D; all of the above.   )

My point is that they are going through a difficult time.  For some of them..... it is extremely difficult.  It is not surprising then, that their loved ones also have a difficult go of it as well.  There is little to prepare people for what is in store for them for 24 or 48 weeks (and of course in reality the effects extend well beyond that).

I hope that reading thru this forum helps you or your own loved one.  If there is anything specific you wish to offer either in question or observation it might also help people to respond.

Best,
Willy

[nathalie]

Hi Sir,
Thank-you for taking the time to email me back and I realize that there are many facters involved regarding taking such treatment but my question is I want to compare what others are going through with there loved ones and feel that Im not alone.Once again thank-you for your time and look forward to hearing from you again.

Sinerely Sweetheart

[zoodoo]

Hi there,

There's no doubt about it, tx is rough on everyone involved.  My husband did 50 weeks, finished last September, and is fortunately still clear of the virus 6 months after finishing treatment.  He still hasn't fully recovered from it though.  He got very depressed during treatment, and is still struggling with that.  

You didn't say if you lived together, but I imagine the same problems apply even if you don't.  People on treatment are frequently in a bad mood and are usually too tired to do much with you anyway.  

I think it breaks down into two big differences: 1. the additional burden of caring for them, the house, the children, whatever the shared responsibilities are, all by yourself, and; 2. the loss of the support you normally recieve from them.  It's never your turn to be in a bad mood, or snappy or tired or whatever.  In my case, my hsuband has rebounded on the first one, but not on the second.  Or maybe its my fault, that I no longer know how to ask him for that.  Whatever it is, its a change.

How far into tx is you boyfriend?  How's he doing so far?  It is a rough ride, but it really does get better once its over, despite my complaining.

-Brie

[Helpmate]

Hi,
Zoodoo makes very good points about having to do things without help.  (not complainging just a fact of life)
My husband took his 10th tx tonight.  This is his second round of tx.  He took the combination treatment intron/rebitron several years ago. It can feel very isolating when you don't know anyone who is going thru the same thing.  I will keep you both in prayer.

[Lisa]

Hi Sweetheart,

My hsb has 2 weeks to go, THANK GOD!!!!  It has been a wild ride.  I guess in the beginning it was the fevers and then later fatigue and generally being tired of being sick and tired.  Today, it is just grumpy.  He was never depressed in the way most people think about depression and he was able to work fulltime thru out, but he was/is a bear!  His depression is more the kind that growls at everyone for everything, even breathing it seems.  But, now that we only have a couple weeks left, he is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and maybe things don't feel quite as hopeless as they did at week 15, but he is acting nicer.  The best thing I did for myself was get me support while he was going thru tx.  Everyone around us was concerned with how he was doing and how his side effects were, but no one thought to ask me how I was holding up with his attitude, the loneliness, the constant demands.  At first I thought I was completely up to the challenge, but it wears ya out.  Fortunately I found this website, have a circle of recovering friends who are very supportive, and connected with the wife of someone who went thru tx a couple years ago.  Actually, come to think of it, the people who were nicest to me were the guys who had gone thru tx.  They knew how they had felt and what they had put their relationships thru, some nearly losing them.  Anyway, hang in there.  You will make it thru.  Take good care of yourself, even if he thinks you are being selfish.  If you aren't taking care of you, you won't do him any good.  God, I can't believe it has been 46 weeks already!  Feel free to write me if you need to.

[kiki]

Hello everyone!

I just discovered this truly marvelous site, quite by accident, and I'm so happy to have found you all!  

My husband started Pegasys/Ribavirin at the end of March for 24 weeks, and today will be his 6th shot.  Still early in the game, but I'm a total wreck.  The first shot brought on pretty bad flu-like symptoms - quite high fever.  But we got through that pretty well.  

The Dreaded Side Effects.  What's really rough is the depression.  It has really reared its ugly head and it's roaring at me.  I don't truly understand why all the anger is directed to me. Up until this morning,  I was in tears everyday.  But after reading through the forum, now I'm really really trying to cope, telling myself over and over again that it's the meds.  

The first sign of the emotional impact was how he would withdraw from me and want to be alone.  I know his sudden breakdown in tears is drug-induced and there are times when he cannot be consoled.  Sometimes we could watch tv together, but now he won't even speak to me.  It's as though he hates me.  

He doesn't even smile anymore.  Our only son is away at college, so there's just the two of us at home.  He seems to be alright at work, but when he's home, he's a total stranger.

I'm trying to keep strong and positive.  I keep reading that the side effects will totally abate once treatment is completed, is this really the case?  



 

[Ikiru]

Hi kiki, it sounds like the depression has kicked in early for your husband.  I think if he is not normally prone to depression it should abate when tx is over.  But you've got a long way to go and I hope they are treating his depression.  Many if not most people take some kind of anti-depressant medication during tx.  In fact studies show depression can lessen the chances of treatment being successful.  People all react a little differently to tx.  For me it wasn't so bad.  I'm very sorry to hear it is going so tough for you and your husband.  Are you doing anything to treat it or having any counseling?

Don

[Lisa]

Kiki~

Sorry to hear how rough things are.  Do you attend appointments with him?  Maybe the two of you  could address it together with the doctor.  It would be wonderful if you could talk to your hsb and be able to do this.  Maybe his dose needs to be adjusted or he needs an antidepressant.  One time I did go to his doctor and explained his behavior, since I knew my hsb was saying everything was working out fine, and they increased his antid's and things got a little better.

Now, that being said, my hsb was very weirded out by me being involved with his appointments.  It was very frustrating cuz all I was trying to do was help.  I mean, it wasn't just affecting him; It was affecting our whole life.

He felt that this was life or death for him (he became very dramatic during his tx).  He also got depressed and withdrew from me.  It is very lonely.  I was able to see that when I am not feeling good, I want taken care of in the form of chicken soup and my head rubbed.  He usually wants me to simply be around and then to be left to sleep.  Imagine having the flu for 6 weeks.  That would SUCK!  But that is what they do.   My husband has had the flu for 48 freaking weeks!  Thru it he worked fulltime.  I think that made it harder because he had to put on his game face at work and then he pretty much had nothing left for me when he got home.  I needed to adjust my expectations, take care of me and more responsibilities around the house, learn to not take his out bursts personally, and pray, a lot, that things will be ok.

It is very scary not knowing for sure whether life will return to nromal after tx.  My hsb took his last shot yesterday.  This may be the last weekend of moodiness and drama.  Or it may not.  In truth, I am scared and a little worried.  This has been like a ferocious journey in a dark desert.  I am hopeful tho.  The hardest part is behind us, and for real, if we can survive this, we can survive anything.

[willy]

Well said Lisa.  People often lose sight at just how difficult it is for the others close to those on TX.  They go through a tremendous amount too.  I just hope that things swing back to normal sometime soon you you and yours.  It is a major event in both of your lives.  You both made it though this phase.  Good luck on the recovery from TX.  And thanks for the insightful words on what it has been like.  I think it helps both parties.... those on TX and those that "get" to live with them.

Take care,
Willy

[elizabeth]

hi, i can also relate to the mood changes as the girlfriend of someone undergoing tx. We had only been together less than a year when he started. Sometimes he doubts his feelings for me bc he gets so irritaded and he questions whether it's me or the medication. I know how he was before the tx and we used to spend so much of our time together. I try to remind him that he is getting irritaded with his roommates, coworkers, etc. The rage is terrible at times for him. But it hurts that he has doubts about us, even though at other times he is so loving and says he wants us to spend our lives together. He at times questions whether he was always a "jerk". I again remind him that it's the medicine. He has at least finally agreed to go see a psychiatrist with me. So that's a step. We have really had our ups and downs but i dont want to give up on us untill the tx is over - 7 mon left. He also worries bc he at times complains of a lack of feeling for others. He will ask himself "do i care if this person lives or dies?" and that really bothers him. This can be a side effect too im told - apathy?