Reality has struck

[Penney]

OK...it just became a reality.     :-/

My Doctors office called and they are ordering my treatment today....

This means I will receive the 'package' at the end of the week.  The nurse said I don't have start this week, I can start next week.  She wants me to call her when I get the meds so I can go see her for 'injection instruction'.  Wow, this is really a reality now!

My stomach flipped when she called me.  I didn't expect to be so nervous.  

Some of you know that I just lost my dad.  I have been trying to be 'positive' and be in a good frame of mind before I began my treatment.  It has been difficult.  My higher power must know I am ready for it now......even though I am not so sure......I still have faith.  

I believe I will begin the treatment on Friday the 13th!  Marina, are you out there

Penney

[Lori_V]

Penney,
This is great news! Your finally on the way to kicking this dragons butt....
Of course your nervous.....its normal....but you'll be just fine, as long as you believe you will. Mind over body sweetie.......keep telling yourself that.
You can do this......we are all backing and praying for you.......
Keep your spirits high and make sure you drink lots of water (as if you didnt already know..lol)
Have positive thoughts Penney, and stay focused......
We will be here in whatever way we can....
Best wishes to you,
Lori

[Penney]

Hi Lori,

Thank you so much for your words......it is always reassuring to know there are really people out there who care.  I guess looking at it as "great news" is certainly a positive outlook!  

Say hi to your mom...

Take care,
Penney

[marina]

 Hi Penney,
I'm still here.   I'm going to start this Friday, but just with the shot. This is what the doc wants to do for l month.
I had a real terrible day yesterday. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Mind you, this is while taking Zoloft and haven't even started treatment. But I decided to call my boss and tell him what was going on. I couldn't keep this inside anymore because I think that concealing it was affecting me mentally. He and everyone else I work with was so supportive that I wish I would have said something earlier.
My "dirty little secret" came out and now I feel so much better.  I was upset because I kept asking God for a sign that I could endure this and I wasn't getting anything back, but now I realize that I did get that sign. He gave me the strength to go ahead and put the cards with the people that I needed to, and that in itself has given me a great sense of peace and relief.  And I'm sure glad I got this dosage of faith and serenity because Friday is just a few days away. Don't get me wrong I'm still chicken, but the burden will be easier on me.   marina

[marina]

 Hi Penney,
I'm still here.   I'm going to start this Friday, but just with the shot. This is what the doc wants to do for l month.
I had a real terrible day yesterday. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Mind you, this is while taking Zoloft and haven't even started treatment. But I decided to call my boss and tell him what was going on. I couldn't keep this inside anymore because I think that concealing it was affecting me mentally. He and everyone else I work with was so supportive that I wish I would have said something earlier.
My "dirty little secret" came out and now I feel so much better.  I was upset because I kept asking God for a sign that I could endure this and I wasn't getting anything back, but now I realize that I did get that sign. He gave me the strength to go ahead and put the cards on the table with the people that I needed to, and that in itself has given me a great sense of peace and relief.  And I'm sure glad I got this dosage of faith and serenity because Friday is just a few days away. Don't get me wrong I'm still chicken, but the burden will be easier on me.   marina

[Dude]

The real reality struck when you discovered you had Hep C. This is just your courage showing, even while you deal with the fear.

You come across as a brave lady, Penney, and if anyone can do it, you can. I found that the needle in the thigh was the most difficult thing, and I haven't gotten used to it yet. But you do it, it's over for a week, and you try to keep a good attitude during that time. Then it comes due again and you face it, one week at a time.

As most everyone has said, it's going to be a phase of feeling rotten, fever, chills, etc., but after the first week or so you start to adjust and it isn't quite as hard on you in the weeks that follow. The good thing is you pretty much know what to expect, and there'll be no surprises for you, so you can psych yourself up to handle it before it comes. To repeat, drink a lot of water, and try to take advantage of the rest time.

Don't put a lot of attention on the negatives. The stress is really bad if you let it tear you up, and you can turn it around and benefit by the calm you build in faith. You're a truly faith-filled person... let that faith and common sense carry you through this. You'll do just fine. The spirit of your father is in you, and he'd want you to be courageous in your fight. Think of what so many of your ancestors had to deal with, much of it far more terrible than what we're dealing with, and many of them survived. Imagine the strength that took. Tap into that strength now, and decide to do what is required of you to survive.

I know it seems hard to imagine going all the way through the treatments, but many of us have done it, and now it's your turn. You can do it, Penney. I pray for you to find the strength, and to fight courageously.

God bless.

[Penney]

Marina,
I have to say I am SO glad you opened up and told your boss and the people you work with.  It will help you a lot once you begin the injections.....I know I also work with very understanding people.  They want me to fight this all the way!  They understand that there are things I may need to put 'on hold' for a bit.....they are really excellent.

You are starting June 6th?  hhmmmm, selfishly I was hoping to begin the same day  cause I am still a chicken too!!  Anyway, I should get my stuff by this Friday and begin treatment next week.  Let me know when you will strart taking the ribaviron pills....

Lori, Joris,
I can't express the feeling I get when both of you  mention my father's 'spirit'.  Basically, the feeling makes me cry.  Not sure if I am crying out of sadness or relief that he is still 'checking' in on me.  Lori, thanks for that personal email you sent me.  I am scared and nervous about all of this, but I have been scared and nervous MANY times in my life and overcome it all.....My outlook is that this should be no different.  

I have a lot of people behind me on this supporting me in everyway.........including the fabulous people like all three of you that I have met on this message board.  

Thanks everyone....
Penney

[marina]

 Lori, we're almost doing this together so we can always sort of compare. Yes this Friday is my day with the shot, I almost wish I was doing it all just to confront it once and for all. I will let you know once I start with the pills.
On a different note we need input on diet from the pros out there. I don't know about you but I don't have a big appetite to begin with, so all you guys out there give us some suggestions on what to eat . No meat please (I can't stand it )
No big sit down meals either. Help !

:)marina