learning to cope

[cserrini]

Hello to all. I am a newbie in this forum and trying dearly to understand an cope with the diagnosis our family has received. For a breif backrground, my husband and I have three children (two under the age of two and one ten year old from a previous marriage). He was diagnosed in Nov of 2005. At that point I was 4 months pregnant with our second child. Currently I work full time as a forensic accountant while helping him run his entreprenurship as a self employeed faux finisher. As you can imagine the level of his enthusiasm for his business has completely crashed. I have been trying to encourage him to go to school and take some entertainment painting classes. I feel at least this way he is getting out of the house and interacting with people while learning and doing something in his field of interest. I really worry these days that he might be depressed since he has shown no self motivation about doing anything during the day. I basically have taken the role of work, and now doing so from home. He is under supervision of a psychiatrist and taking anti-depressants, so that is one step in the right direction. I sometimes feel angry that I am the one now with all of the responsibility on me to ensure the security of our family.  I think we have done well so far in his treatment, which has been the Peginteron since January. However, I am beginning to feel at my wits end. I find it increasingly hard to understand and patient, as I need to be for him. I really hope this medication is working. I don't know how we will survive or what I can do as a supportive spouse if the interfuron does not work. If anyone as any advise on how to deal with the tiredness and lack of - to the point of complete stopping- motivation, PLEASE let me know. Thank you all for your time in advance.

[robin]

Hi and glad to "meet" you but wish it was under better circumstances. Sometimes I think the treatment is harder on the family than the patient so first I want to commend you for sticking it out with your husband through the thick and thin. Is your husband on any kind of antidepressant? I know when I was on treatment...I thought emotions would be the least of my problems until I took to cussing the computer (like that helped), yelling at my cats, giving the one finger salute to people who annoyed me when I was in the car and sending out very nasty and attacking e-mails that were not deserving. My husband drove me to my appointments (I can no longer drive) and he was telling the doctor about this Jeckyl-Hyde creature hiding behind my doctor appointment smile. Doc asked if I considered hurting myself and my response was NO...I feel like killing everyone and everyone. He said the interferon can cause both responses and so I started on an antidepressant. In a couple of weeks...I was back to my old self (not that I was that great of a person). It sounds like to me your husband may be depressed but that doesn't solve the problem of how you are going to handle your situation. I honestly feel for you because he probably can't help his change in emotions and his desire to be around people. Maybe this is a time, if he won't seek help to make it easier on his family, for you to continue to support him emotionally but not let him get you down. You are probably feeling a bit unsettled by the change in your whole family dynamics so it he won't try to help himself then you need to nuture your children and know you have done the best you can do. I wish this virus wasn't so hard on families but it takes a definite toll on a marriage. I'm sure there are others here with better suggestions than I've given but you are a true hero for trying to understand and make life stable. Keep your spirits high..robion 

[linda]

hi...i'm glad you found your way here. i hope we will be able to help in one way or another.  my husband used to tell my doc that he just wanted his wife back.  it took some patience, but he DID  get me back!!  you say he IS on anti'd's.  for me, i had had to try different ones til i found the one that worked for me.  what does the psychiatrist say?  for me, therapy really helped.  is your husband seeing a therapist?  what is your husband's genotype?  the success rate is higher with geno 2 and 3.  and it's normal AND ok for you to feel anger. your life has literally been put on hold. i like how you said the diagnosis YOUR FAMILY has been given....it affects everyone in your family.  one thing i can say for sure....you WILL survive this. your husband is blessed to have you.  i hope to hear more from you and remember we are here to offer support and hope.  take each day as it comes.   ~~linda~~