2nd shot I feel awful

[Hank's mom]

Let me join the list of those sending their regrets re: you r pain and suffering. I never really understood how bad it was till I got there. More then anything itwas the relentlessness! Sometimes it went on for days in a row. I'd want my family to help me but I couldn't figure out how to make a request. I'd get up to go to the bathroom then lay down for a half hour, get up to brush my teeth, lay back down, each basic thing went the same way all day. Sure it was depressing, nobody wants to feel that low. And I couldn't read or write or draw which are my joys and greatess refuge. …And then a decent day would pop up and I would do something small, a little cleaning, put on makeup just to feel human, read a short story, jot down an idea. And came up with a system of doing things in smaller amounts so I could accomplish them. Same with my kids and husband, got frozen or precooked meals instead of trying to pull off roasts with all the trimmings, did single loads of laundry sometimes just wash one day, dry the next and fold on the third, made lists for the stores and let someone else shop and run errands. All of the it was completely foreign to me, but I learned that I needed it for that time and I learned to accept that. I hadn't worked forr 5 mo. prior to tx because of surgeries I needed, missed my friends and coworkers terribly, but here too I picked up the phone instead of trying to go out to visit.
My tx has been a hodge podge, 3 mos.  on interferon/riba, 3 mos. on infergen/riba which was a bruttle daily beating, and now I'm on maintenance till something new comes along for the next who knows how long. But I have learned my lesson to complain when I must, ask my doc if there are rescue drugs for this or that and just remember to breath. Best of luck, you'll have your pop up days too.
And Happy Valentine's Day,
momxfive

[Ella]

(((((mom))))) - you sound like you've had such a terrible time.  Hope there's people around who give you lots of hugs.

[OZ]

MOM
It must be so much more difficult for you then it was for me.  You have kids at home.  My child is grown and has a family of her own.  My husband is retired.  Doesn't care if the house is clean or if a meal is cooked.  He'd just as soon eat a hamburger or a can of soup.  The only thing that bugs him is the piles of stuff I leave laying around, books, magazines, etc.
I never felt the pressure to do much of anything while on treatment, just to look normal when my parents came to visit as I didn't want to worry them.  Kind of the guilt thing from all of the worrying about me they did when I was young and wild.
I know from other people that the infergen can "knock your socks off" so to speak.
Hope the low dow interferon lets you function somewhat.
Hang in there.
OZ

[linda]

hey terri.  i don't have a lot of experience with tx...i was discontinued. but what i DO remember isn't pleasant.  i'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.  but you have a good doc now, that will help. i know my 1st doc was a nightmare.  my current doc is great!  i just wanted to say, we're here to help you get thru this. stay positive!!!  ~~linda~~

[baybaymac3]

   Thanks my friends, today is shot 3.  so I will enjoy my day and spend it with friends, buy ny plane ticket to OK so that I will be with my daughter when my 1st beautiful grandbaby is born in May, Oh it's a boy, I am so excited, beyond this tx life does go on and in between the days that I am so sick and the couple of days of nomalcy I count my blessings.  Dear India, your story sounds like mine, hang in there, are you going back on tx or are you waiting for hte improved tx prayfully coming in the future??? Bye for now.  Have a great weekend and for those of you on tx we can take comfort that we are not alone....

[Hank's mom]

Hi all: Thanks for your replies. Took my 2nd shot last night, scared myself again but did okay. A vna nurse who is an old friend is coming by for my next shot to help. Think I should take it in the A.M. instead of at night, I get wired for sound from this. Very weird. Went to bed at 2, woke at 4, napped til 7wired to vibrating, never did like speed and finally napped til 10. I'll have to ask about it. My stomach is also distended painfully so I will make the call to my doc. Sometimes I'm afraid to know but I've got to know… you know?
Anyway, made a nice Valentine's dinner and cleaned the house, the gifts I can both afford and manage, my older son walked in from college just as I took the bird out of the oven. He always misses the nights I actually cook so he was happy. Hubby and I watched "Catch A Fire" dvd, very good and heavy, makes you think about others which is always good. Then my daughter called to have me dig out photos for her senior video, always a delight but double edged because there is a gap for the years when she wouldn't see us, so… its the elephant in the room. She then we have heard the guy that molested her has been up to some questionable behavior, is he stalking her?, is he going out without his wife? (yeah she stayed w/him and shipped her baby off to her mother 1,000 mi. away), what, what, what! It's alot to deal with for her, huge really and she has opted that I am not told details, (I don't want to know if my imagination is worse, I think. More importantly it doesn't effect the way I feel about her which is the most important part, that I do know and hope/think she does as well.), but we did giggle over the pics. We met at my old job at the candy counter. My friend, the owner looked so tired after Valentines and the storm that rode in with it that I offered to come in now and then to help get ready for Easter, the biggest of all candy holidays combined. IT'S A CANDYTHON BONANZA!!! I realize I may be jumping the gun and so does she. She kept saying I could wrap, bag, whatever in a private part of the building so I didn't have to be seen and stand for hours. I think I must look bad for her to say that. Darn bunnies anyway.
I will ask for an adjustment in my anti-d's since all this which in some shape or manner has been my life of the past few years is now really settling in poorly. Didn't mean to turn an update reply into a saga, but it feels good to release it this way.
For those who need it stay warm and stay hydrated and for all be well,
momxfive