Spouse didn't tell me he was diagnosed

[dlynn]

I just found out my husband was diagnosed over 7 years ago. He did not tell me and wouldn't have if I hadn't confronted him. We were denied life insurance. I had to force him to tell me. I feel betrayed. I knew he was suddenly a health fanatic. Diet, no tylenol not even if desperate. things like that. He was ordering huge amounts of vitamin supplements. He hasn't told his Dr. or had further tests. I am in nursing school and graduate in May. I think this is why I was more inclined to notice things. He says he will go to the Dr then. He is a minister and we have always been honest about everything or so I thought. I don't understand. I see now steps he took to avoid contact. Keeping his personal hygiene things in a separate area. Using bleach to clean etc. The thing I don't understand is, if he was so concerned with his health why did he not worry about mine. If I had been exposed I could be doing these things to protect my health and my children's. I take medicine, tylenol, occasional wine. He doesn't do any of these things. Please help me understand. I feel like he has really hurt our relationship. Especially if he has put off treatment too long and risked his life or ours. He was exposed 35 years ago. He is tired all the time. He has trouble mowing the lawn. He aches alot and complains of foggy thinking sometimes. I since have read these could be symptoms. I don't know what to do or think. I am hurt and angry.

[willy]

Dlynn.  My heart goes out to you.  I'm glad you posted and I'll be back to give you a little more in depth reply.

I see you having at least two problems; I'm not sure which is the greater and will leave that to you to order them.

First, I see this as an act of betrayal, or I can understand that you could perceive is as such.  You could break that into two components; 1) he may have exposed you to the virus (either before he knew of his infection or afterwards) and 2) he in a sense has left you in the dark about himself so much that you must question your marriage.

Second, you NOW have information that your husband is sick with a potentially life threatening or at the least life changing disease.  I presume that you know little about the virus, his condition, his prognosis.  This must be very difficult for you to say the very least.

You must be feeling a wide range of emotions about him, yourself, and your marriage.  I recognise that this must be one of the darkest periods of your marriage and even perhaps your life.  I want to grant you that it is fine to feel some of the emotions that may be gripping you right now; fear, rage, a sense of betrayal, hatred and tremendous sadness; for yourself, your husband and your marriage. 

I also want you to understand that some of the emotions will have to be felt.....processed.... and that some grieving is going to have to take place before you can begin to feel better.  You are going to possibly need some counseling to help you  get through it.  You are going to also have to find out some technical questions about the virus.  We may be able to help you with either.

I have an engagement I have to go to but I'll drop back and answer you some more.  I'm sure others will also be along.

A few things off the top of my head; you may want all his information about HCV and his status.  You may want to get your self tested or kids if you have them.  Frankly the virus is not easily transmitted but I have a feeling that knowing that you or your kids are virus free will make a large impact on your mental well being.  Once you have a better picture about the scope of this problem you will be better able to deal with it.

I'll be back.  Hang in there.  As you learn more and process some of this it will get a bit easier each day......

Willy

[Angel]

Maybe he was scared to death of losing his family !!!! That's not to say he is off the hook for not telling you....more than likely you and your kid's are NOT infected. I know of spouses that has a wife/husband and kid's and none of them are infected. Like Willy said, you and your kid's get tested and remove that fear in that area. My heart goes out to you....stay strong and see what happens...my best to you and your family....by the way...you mentioned that he was being careful cleaning and seperating his personal stuff. I see that as a man that WANTS to protect his family !!!!!

[willy]

This link is from this same forum.  It's about sexual transmission.  It's about 3 pages long.  I hope it helps you.  You might also use our board search engine at the top of the forum.  Type in transmission and you'll get a list of links of threads on the subject.  You can also use it for other searches on other topics.

http://www.hcvanonymous.com/SMF/index.php?topic=1558.0

I agree with Angel that it sounds as if he was trying to protect the family.  I don't know (or care) how he got it but many people end up feeling that they were infected through some illegal or indiscreet behavior when in fact people don't often actually know how they got the virus.  He may have a certain amount of burden on him that he is involved in the ministry and may feel that he could lose his job, marriage, standing in the community depending on his anonymity.  I neither want to justify his behavior nor vilify it.  When I was first diagnosed I found out that years ago many doctors actually knew that their patients had HCV but didn't tell them.  The rationale was that the stress would hurt them but that there was no actual effective treatment.  As time has marched on treatments have improved.  It might still be very hard to bring up old secrets....or lies of ommision.  My personal belief is that I would share my information with a loved one that I could infect.  At least if they know thay can take actions; get tested, and if they turn out to be positive for HCV then they can stop drinking , have the choice to treat etc.  I don't think we have the right to deny people that right of information.  I have more trouble understanding where I draw the line elsewhere.  Do I tell anyone I've ever had sex with? Worked with?  Yadda yadda yadda.  I may not be able to track back every person I've been in contact with.  I can be upfront with people I now come in contact with.

I don't know how long I've had the virus; no clue.  Maybe 30 years.  Maybe contracted it during surgury, dental work, barbershop, basic blood nicks working construction.  By the way.......my kids alll tested CLEAR of the virus several times.  Likely your kids are clear also as well as you.

Willy

[dlynn]

Thank you Willie.
I haven't stopped crying since I read the first sentence of your post early this morning. Just telling someone or hearing a kind work.
Why couldn't he have just told me. What is wrong with us or with me that he couldn't. It would have explained so many things. The lack of insurance. I thought he didn't care about my need for security. It is one of the reasons I insisted on becoming an R.N. so that I could take care of myself financially if anything happened to him. I see now that he couldn't get life insurance. For seven years this has been an issue. The lack of intimacy. Non existent. That is hard on a wife. Thought it had to be me. Tried harder to be better, be prettier, be smarter. It wasn't that at all, it was he was afraid of infecting me, even though chances are slight he thought there was a chance. Or maybe it was his health, I don't know, maybe makes you lose the desire with the disease. I just don't know. I only know most of our problems the past 7 years could have been dealt with if he had been honest.

He used drugs before he was 18 yrs old. Gave his heart to God at 19. That is how he was infected. He used a needle. Has more than paid for it in his life.
 
He councels with people everyday about this. He would never, ever tell someone to keep it from thier spouse. He not only kept it from me but has sworn me to secrecy. It was the only way he would tell me (I knew something was wrong and imagined worse). He still won't let me talk to anyone and won't talk to me about it. I can't turn to anyone, not spiritualy, not church family, friends or family, none of the things that are supposed to be important to getting through this. Why does he want less for me than someone else?

I have to get through nursing school. Less than one more year. It is so much stress on its own, now this on top of it. I have to get through it though, what if he can't work or dies. What if he's waited to long or could have done better if only he had made different choice. I have to decide should he wait to see dr. before then, don't know. I need to make sure I am working and have group benefits.  Don't know if he'd go anyway. Is he so selfish. Has anyone known anyone else that did this?
He has been doing research on it for all this time so he knows everthing you guys know. He told me he has researched it. I am at a disadvantaged.

He has told his story in church about drugs and has helped others so it wasn't hiding the fact of that. I just don't get it. I don't understand. Why didn't he tell me, we could have prayed, believed for a miracle, had others pray all the things we do for others. I just don't get it. I don't judge others and I believe and I pray, he knows this. Now I can't pray, I can't believe, I am just so confused.

I just want to get in my car and drive and drive and keep going. I may even do it after I graduate.

I didn't go to church this morning. I have nothing to give. Everything could have been avoided. Instead for the last seven years problems have been magnified. What I thought was, wasn't. Both good and bad.
Please forgive me. I know I shouldn't be talking this way and that I should have more faith. Don't go by me. I will get better. Just don't know the consequences. I feel so self centered right now. I feel so many emotions at any given moment.
 
Thank you Willie and Angel, I pray God will bless you. I think he led me to this site. I visited all of them but I only stopped here after reading the post by the staff and the creator of the site's biography and testimony.
Willie, I hope your right and what I am feeling is normal. It is not my normal.

[19Dragon52]

(((Dlynn)))

I am so sorry you are having to endure this impact on your family life.  Now that it is out in the open perhaps all of you will find some fantastic nuritionally helpful & healthy tips in the Alternative Treatment Forum until or if your husband decides to "treat."

I can empathize with you although my situation with the hubby is different from yours.  I was diagnosed and treated for Hep C and everytime I would suggest to him to get tested all I would hear was, "I don't really care.  When it's my time to go, then it's my time."  Finally I had heard that statement too  often and asked him if he had no regards for me or our daughter.  It made me mad & I was hurt & confused that he wasn't taking us into consideration.  Well, he has other physical issues that deemed exploring so I made an appt. with a doctor and he kept it.  Other issues aside, the doctor ordered a page of bloodwork to be done and my hubby told him to add the testing for Hep C as he had been exposed.  This is a man that hasn't been to a doctor since I've known him (40 years) except to get his hernia operated on back when we lived in CA.  He (we) get the results back June 13th.  I don't think he is considering standard tx and I really don't know how he's going to feel about having a Liver biospy.  Hopefully the same Gastro doctor that I have will be helpful & encouraging. I will also try to talk with him through whatever circumstances lay ahead.  The ultimate decision will have to be his, though.  Anyway, I see myself back in our Alternative Treatment Forum putting together a regimen that will help him regardless of his final decisions.  I can speak of post Hep C diagnosis because I am 99.9% sure he is inflicted.  I truly hope that I can introduce him to this board and he will do most of his own research.

Dlynn, I imagine it is ground shaking for your husband since he is a Minister.  There is still so much stigma associated with this condition because of lack of Public Knowledge.  Of course others don't necessarily have to be informed.  Everything has it's time and place.  Now that you know I would hope that it is a huge stepping stone for you & him to be proactive.  He has nothing about Hep C to hide from you now.

I know you're hurt and angry..."Betrayal" is a deep wound.  I know it myself since hubby is too much of a private person with certain things that also impact my life with him.  It's selfishness brought about by Pride as far as I'm concerned.  You certainly are going to need the time to process your current feelings and he should be supportive of that since it was his deception that conjured these emotions.  I hope that we will be of some help for both of you to get through this part and on to a better day!

I agree whole-heartedly with Angel's & Willy's posts to you.  Both of there replies are chucked-full of good stuff!  Regardless of emotions...having yourself & the children tested should be first on the *Priority" list as I'm sure it is.  

I would like to *Welcome* you and hope you will keep us updated with feelings, progression, whatever...anything...as you all walk through this.  We are here for Love & Support.

Prayers Going Out To You.....

Whoops!  Willy got back to you before I got this reply typed & posted!  Sorry.....  

[willy]

Hon, I know it sounds strange but your reaction is about the same as someone who is diagnosed themselves.  In a way it's the same dynamic.  You get bad information about something that happened years ago and your world....your foundations of life are rocked.  You have the same fears about your own health, your kids health in addition to the very confusing aspects of being both concerned about your hubby's health while being hurt and angry at him.  In that way....... your grieving process is way more complicated than mine was.  You are greiving all these health issues AND marriage issues.  You have permission to feel however you do.  It's normal.....and part of it is actually healthy.  It's big enough that you may need more help with it than a board like this can give though.  Yes, I would hate hearing that too.  However, I wonder if the goal is to come out of this happier, healthier, and stronger than before the incident.  You may get there sooner with some help.  People who simply "stuff" the problems and ignore them end up never really solving them.  I think you have seen close hand what can happen when this is the solution.  Sooner or later people have to deal with their truths, their actions, and their responses.  You may not realize it now but this might end up being an opportunity of sorts to get important issues squared away. 

I know it does not seem like it today.  Once you answer the question about eveyones health and status you will be better off.  So very often it's the not knowing that's the killer.  The truth we can often handle.

best,
Willy

[Helen]

Dlynn.
 I cant imagine how shocked and betrayed you must have felt.  But I hope that you and your husband can get thru this. I agree with Willy in the fact that sometimes things like this happen and you can possibly get some things sorted out that seem to have been trouble in the marraige for the past 7 years now. And you may need more help than we can give BUT we are here to help you in any way we can.

If possible you may want to see if your husband would come here and do some reading, it sounds as though he has a lot to learn about this disease even though he says otherwise. And Im so sorry to hear that he would feel so ashamed about it that he felt he couldnt share it with his own wife. I dont know if he realizes that there are probably a few in his congregation that are probably infected. So many are walking around with this and just dont know it. There are many many people who did NOT get this from intravenious drug use, but thru tattoos, piercings, blood transfusions, and many contracted it thru immunizations in the military.

 I dont mean to be judgemental but I feel he is beng very hypocritical and if he knows as much about it as he says he shouldnt be so ashamed and to swear you to secrecy is rediculous. He talks to people about thier problems he has to realize that keeping these kinds of secrets can ruin your marraige AND I dont understand why he would share his story of drug use without letting others know the price he paid for that.

To keep this kind of secret for this many years is really unbelieveable to me and I definately think he needs a little help. Im not trying to be cruel , just pretty much stating the obvious and you seem to already know this. But know that if your both willing you CAN get thru this, but I do think you'll need a bit of counselling unless of course he's willing to be upfront and talk about it now.it dosent sound like he is BUT that could change now that you know and he just may need a little time to let it sink in more.
 I wish you luck, and please let us know how your doing and also try and get him to come and talk with us too.

 Take care, Im saying a prayer for you both.

[Ella]

Dlynn,  This is a terrible, shocking discovery and as Willy says, it's much the same jolt as we go through when we find we have HCV ourselves.  I agree that you should have yourself and your children checked, but mainly for your own peace of mind as I think it's highly unlikely any of you will be infected.  When I first found out, I was terribly worried that I may have passed this on to my husband - or my former partner.  Both were clear.

I know it's no consolation, but your husband is probably going through the mental tortures of hell over this, and as Helen says, he's very likely highly in need of some help.  His position as a minister makes this very difficult, as people tend to expect ministers to be 'above' all the temptations of the general population, and after all this time to revert from 'helper' to 'helpee' must be a very difficult psychological challenge for him.  Have you spoken to him about how he feels about treatment and why he declined to follow that path?  You must feel very betrayed, and that in itself must be playing on his mind as well as yours.  I feel so very sorry for both of you, and hope that once the shock settles you'll be able to find a way back to each other again.

But first things first - get checked.  From that position the way ahead may seem easier.

[Hank's mom]

Dlynn: There is no easy advice I can offer to comfort you. It's hard to hear and harder to make noncombustable. It's terribly sad that someone feels so alone that they feel they have to keep something this important to themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'd be hurt and upset if I were in your shoes as well. Just ask my hubby - he'd be on the receiving end!
At any rate I will share that when I first was diagnosed I CHOSE to tell everyne to dispell rampant rumors about even worse news about my life and fate. Seemingly out of the woodwork all these people I have known for years confessed they had hep c and either had gone thru treatments or were told to wait for a variety of reasons. They kept the news from everyone - work, family, friends, you name it. There is a lot of stigma that used to go along with hep c and still does - all based on misinformation and silence. I remind people that ask why I came forward about my hep that if it were cancer or heart disease or something along those lines, they wouldn't blink an eye except to offer their help. My docs estimate I got it about 30 years ago. Basically I know where I lived then and maybe some of my friends names. Every now and then I'll hear a song or see a movie from then and it takes me back. Other then those things I have no clue as to the whens and wheres, let alone the whos and hows. In my mind it really doesn't make a difference. I certainly can't go back and change that minute in my history - Lord knows it could be worse if I could.
Anyway, the point I am making my way to, is that now that you both do know you may be able to help each other heal and move forward. You sound strong enough to have come here for help and understanding and that is nothing to scoff at - its big and proactive. Perhaps you can bring him along - its private and filled with good people who share the same big problem(s).
Even if he doesn't care to join us, you are certainly welcome any time to "talk", rant or gain understanding. All the best to you and your family -
momxfive 

[dlynn]

Thank you so much for the kind words and posts.

I feel better this evening. I think just telling someone helps so much. Just saying (typing) it out loud helps. I needed to express some emotion other than anger inside. I have at least cried.

When I did clinicals at the hospital I talked to my husband about patients and how careful I am but not fearful of clients with hepatitis or worse.  Nurses can have hep c and still  be a nurse and care for clients. They just have to be careful for the clients protection. I have cared for clients with hep c and it did
not change the care I gave or how I felt towards them. I  had more compassion if anything.

I was with a doctor doing a colonscopy this past semester on a client with hep c and he pulled the scope out to far and contents sprayed everywhere. She wasn't cleaned out as well as should've been.  We laughed and weren't all freaked out. I told my husband about that day. He knows how I feel. I wouldn't want to be a nurse if I was scared and didn't know the risks. But you just take precautions and be honest about it.
 
And yes, we have many people in our church who have and are being treated for hep c. We also know one that died from hep c. from a blood transfusion.

Someone said something about pride. Somewhere in my heart I can't get pass that maybe this could be alot of it. Here he sat in front of me and knew I was scared to death. Thought he had a month to live, HIV from an affair,  all these things going through my head waiting for him to tell me what it was he was hiding. But all he could do was make me promise, give my solemn word not to tell a soul. At first I told him I couldn't promise him anything without knowing. But said no, not unless I gave my word. Begged me. Took him over and hour to tell me. Just looked at me.

I really don't want to talk bad about him but just need to work through it. I have given blood about 4 years ago. I also have regular physicals and recently had blood tests done for unrelated problems. I had to have surgery in 2003. I don't know if it routine to check for? I feel like I am okay but will get myself and children tested. I passed the physical for life insurance when he didn't.

The not telling me is what is big, huge. It would have been the first thing I did. I would have also made sure everyone in the house took precautions. Kids will do something like use some one else's  toothbrush,  my daughter and I share razors. I used to use my husbands after he used them because they worked better. All these things go through my head.

I remember when he cut his leg and was bleeding all over the kitchen floor and I cleaned him and it up. He didn't say a word then. Also after he had back surgery and I changed the dressings as did my mom, he didn't say anything then either. I did ask him if he had told his surgeon and he said he had. I just keep thinking of these things.
 
I haven't even got pass being hurt and angry enough to worry about how advanced or seriously ill he may be.
If it has been over 30 years does anyone know the chance of his being very ill? Wouldn't he know? Why would he chance it? Could he be serious now and not know? He's got to have further test. I have heard that you could be a false positive.

Wow, what is wrong with this world and society if we make people feel like they would rather risk their lives than tell someone they have hep c? I don't understand it. How must HIV patients feel. Or anyone with a sexually transmitted disease.
 
He is tired a lot. I have noticed that. Has a lot of lower back pain. Doesn't seem as sharp as he once was. Just thought he was getting older. He forgets things. Doesn't have energy. Has to lie down and rest more than an average person I think. He doesn't seem to be as strong physically as he once was for sure. When I ask him he says he feels better than ever. He is always drinking nutritional shakes, vitamins, supplements. He takes a lot of antibiotics which doesn't help his liver. So I guess he does get sick more than most. He is usually really on top and feeling good or goes through spells when he doesn't. Sounds like symptoms to me. Can you be r

You'd think he'd wanted me checked out all this time so I could be doing so well. Oh well,,,, I wish I could get pass the hurt.
 
Do you think many spouses do this? I know many of you have talked to alot of people. Does this come up at all? I haven't read anything on any post and I have looked.

So, I guess I do need counseling. I will do that. And I will talked to my doctor.
 
Maybe something great will come out of this. Maybe it will make me an awsome, caring and compassionate nurse that can help people with the same problem.   Please God, make it so!

(and send my husband one... he'll need one cause it won't be me...LOL)  I actually laughed.

You guys are so very strong, I still feel guilty for complaining when I am talking to others that are known to be sick. I so admire you and this site. I admire you for not hiding and for helping. That is how it should be.  You are all so great. Thank you so very much.   

[Rainbow]

I feel for you, I really do, but I can't help but to feel for him too.  I'm a nurse, I'm supposed to feel for the patient.  Imagine if you're feeling like this, how much worse it is for somebody to find out that they HAVE IT.  He probably felt like his whole world was collapsing.

Maybe he's been going through denial.  Perhaps the fact that he's a minister made him believe that if he prayed hard enough it would go away.  Whatever the scenario, seven years of guilt is a long time to have to pay.  You have the right to feel like this certainly...and take your time to work it out.  I hope that when you talk to him though, there will be no judgement in your voice.  

I have no idea why he did what he did.  People react differently to finding out about their diagnosis.  But he's ill.  He needs support too.
All the best to you and your family,
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[Rainbow]

I'll try to answer the questions on your last post. I'm an R.N. and a Hepatitis C Speaker.

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[Rainbow]

Hepatitis C is NOT a sexually transmitted virus.  It is transmitted blood to blood only.  Example.  Whgen he bled on the floor and you cleaned it up.  The only way you could get it was if you had an open cut on your hand and some of his blood got into your blood.  Re toothbrushes.  The only way to catch it that way is if he had bleeding gums and left some blood on the toothbrush and then you used it and you also had bleeding gums or an open area in your mouth......if some of his blood got into your blood.

That means that contents from a colonoscopy, even if they splattered you, couldn't infect you.  Unless it was blood and somehow it got into your blood stream.  Hep C is not transmitted by kissing, touching, doing laundry in the same load, etc.  Couples who have been married for 30-40 years, if one person has it, the other person is not necessarily infected too.  I've taken care of people who got diagnosed and their partner blamed them for infecting them, then when they got tested, they had a different genotype.

Do I think you have it?  No.  Three reasons.

1.  You donated blood 4 years ago.  They would have notified you if your blood was positive.  They check for Hep C.
2.  You passed the life insurance test.  They check for Hepatitis C.
3.  You were accepted into a nursing program.  I don't know whether you remember but before getting in they request a physical and they test you for Hep B and C.  If you're positive, they may not refuse you but they may "discourage you".   


Can a Hepatitis C test be false positive?

Yes, it can also be false negative.  The first test you have done .,...an HCV test, checks only for ANTIBODIES.  So if the test is positive, it doesn't mean you have it.  It means that at some point you were exposed to it.  However, some people are able to clear the virus on their own......but the antibody test will ALWAYS be positive.

You need a VIRAL LOAD test to confirm that you have Hep C.  A viral load test measures the amount of virus in 1cc of blood.  The result is usually in the millions if positive.  If there is any measurable virus at all, then that means that without a doubt you have Hep C.  If the test result says "Non-detectable", that means that the person cleared it on their own.

There is another test called a "GENOTYPE".  That tells you the strain of the virus.  About 70% of people who have Hep C have Genotype 1, the most difficult one to treat.  Success rate with treatment is about 50% and treatment lasts one year.  Genotypes 2 and 3 are easier to get rid of.....6 months of treatment and about 82% success rate.

How do you know if you need treatment?  A liver biopsy is the only way to tell how much liver damage you have.  Lets say that after 35 years of being infected, his biopsy showed no damage or a stage 1, (Stages are measured 1-4.....4 being cirrhosis).  Then he can wait or choose not to treat, but if it shows a Stage 4 then he may choose to start thinking about treatment.


"If it has been over 30 years does anyone know the chance of his being very ill? "

If he started using drugs at age 18, then by age 19 he was alraedy infected (this info comes from hepatoiogists).

In 35 years he could have cirrhosis, but the damage does not advance at the same rate on everybody.  The only way to know is by doing a liver biopsy.


"Do you think many spouses do this? "

I have seen both sides of the spectrum.  I have seen spouses leave the marriage and others be some of the best caregivers. 


"Maybe something great will come out of this. Maybe it will make me an awsome, caring and compassionate nurse that can help people with the same problem"

There is no doubt in my mind you'll be great.

"You guys are so very strong, I still feel guilty for complaining when I am talking to others that are known to be sick."

For me it's easy.  I'm not infected.   Let me know if I can answer any other questions for you.

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[dlynn]

Thank you Sylvia.
 
So it is time to get a plan.
 
He wants to wait until I am out of nursing school less than a year and working so that we will have group insurance.

But even then I don't know if it will make a difference on coverage. I just want him to be treated if needed or know where we stand.

I am scared to wait any longer in case it may hurt his chance of recovery or quality of life.

We have a family doctor but that doctor doesn't know. I think we should tell him and see where he wants to go with it. He will probabley refer us to someone.
There is a doctor in town who treats Hepatitis. I have heard good things.

I will deal with the trust issues later. I know he loves me and I know he has been tormented because I know his heart and he would never want to harm anyone especially his family.

I guess I was tested for hepatiits upon entering nursing school. I am so in shock I am not thinking clearly.

We can't do anything without answers. And to get those he needs to see a doctor and have tests.

Do the symptoms tell you anything or do you prefer not to comment? I understand. I just wanted to be prepared. I know it is hard to answer based on subjective information.

It is a really difficult disease with many different variables. It is hard to understand. You hear it can't be cured and then it can.  That it can be mild or potentialy  fatal.  Every case is different and no one can answer until tests are done.

I feel better tonight at this moment than at any other.

Being a nurse comes a great responsibility. You have the power to assure a person just by the title. I was reassured just by you telling me you were a nurse and were going to answer my questions. Somehow hearing from you and the way you took charge and broke everything down has really helped me to be calmer and get my thoughts in order. I will always try and remember that.

I am going to bed now and get some sleep, hug my husband and count my blessings.

Thank you again.