anger, short temper

[jody13]

I read a bunch of you have this problem. What causes it. The heb C or the treatment. I haven't started treatment, but have always been a guy witha short fuse. But I have had hep C for over 40 years, so they say?? I'm  sure the treatment is part of it, I was just curious if the C alone could cause some of this? Jody13

[negative1]

I have heard that the hep c can cause this...maybe. But the things you hear in this place mostly have to do with the riba, whisch causes this in treating people.

Earl

[MissyMouse]

In my case, it's definately the treatment that messes with my head.

Mouse

[willy]

No doubt that TX is a major player in this.  I've also had people who did TX before ribiviren experience rage. and so they figured that it was IFN.

I think the dynamic occurs often when people are under either mental or physical stress.

Mental could be lack of sleep, fear, stress about dying, being disabled affording meds, or fear for you loved ones well being, whether one will be able to clear, finish TZ or if the virus will return.  You could go on forever with this one; soooo many different causes.  In 12 step programs one often makes a list of all the things that one FEARS.  We often let fear rule our life.  It often impinges on our day to day living.

Physical stress is easier to see.  One might have HCV symptoms or extrahepatic diseases or symptoms.  IF one is on TX there are a range of physical symptoms, not the least perhaps is simple lack of quality sleep.

IF a person is on TX........ they could experience an "all of the above" situation.  Even if they may not come all at one moment...... they may appear at various times for months on end. 

Sorry Jody.....much of this has to do with TX but some of it certainly applies as well to people who are not on TX.

best,
Willy

[Helen]

Yeah, I think Jody's thnking about when people mention Riba rage.

[Hank's mom]

Jody -
Hi, by the way.

I can only speak from my own experience so here it is. My rage was about things that have always upset me. The difference was that I was also frustrated by my discomforts and fears, and that in light of it, these behaviors were continued - it was a loss of control or ability to adjust or to be heard respectfully, not just "poor woman she's on treatments". (Really, have pity for those who dared say that to me - it was already degrading my voice, but said out loud was like a knife to my self-esteem.)

The only other time that ever happened was toward the end of my first pregnancy and just after my son was born - "Shhh, she's a little touchy right now." The nerve. Even if it was true, it was wrong to be demeaned that way.

As far as the HCV being a cause by itself - certainly tempers can flare for the same reasons. They did with me for sure - nobody wants to be so needy or useless and miserable, tired, unable to do the regular day-to-day activities. Magnify that by not knowing you have a reason for loss of quality in your life, and as Willy said, the lack of regular sleep cycles, and/or when you know and people don't get it - well, let's just say it's a recipe for explosions.

Well, that felt good to get that out of my system - sheesh! 

Always good writing with you Jody,
Susie

[jody13]

Susie, I guess we all fly off the handle sometimes , but I have had some scarry times , few but still it seems as if someone comes in your body and takes over. Almost like you have another spirit in there to protect you if you are threatend. One time at a dance, we had a drunk come up and push my wife. The next thing I remember was this guy laying on his back in the middle of the dance floor. I have no memory of hitting him.  This has happened a couple of times. My guestion was does the hep C have any thing to do with it. I have to wonder if I could handle TX with out hurting some one or my self. I'm not a big guy any way 5' 9" and a 170 lbs soaking wet. . So it could be me that would be the one getting hurt. But you get your feeligs hurt when somebody trys to humer you, that doesn't bother me it is the feeling of being a leper. people don't understand Hep C and are really afraid to even get near you for fear of catching it, I have too explain to them  about it not being easy to get. Blood is the main carrier. Ohh well. We are open about it , I feel that is better than trying to kide it.  Jody

[negative1]

I hate to say it Jody but.....if your temper is like that now, you would have to go on some kind of medication to keep it under control on tx. I am ususally pretty mellow and the tx made me very short fused!

Earl

[nialla]

jody;
i can relate to that, i feel angry a lot and very impatient, what happened to me is it all just got intensified on treatment.  i'm a headache sufferer and that's what i felt most on treatment, headaches. so if you know yer a person with a "short fuse" it's recommended that you go on anti-depressants for the duration of treatment (i went on Lexapro 3 weeks prior to starting and then got off 60 days after finishing) you can also take an Atavan or something if you feel very edgy.  i'm all for the "helper drugs" whatever it takes to get you through treatment.   

*nialla

[Hank's mom]

Jody -
Just got in and read your reply. Don't get me wrong, when I flew off - truly flew off - I was beyond the beyond - it took a team effort to pull me off, but like I said, I had those times from the hep c itself. I'm sure of that. I threw enough apples at my husband to cover him in applesauce when on tx, but I admit I had done that before as well - e's very hard-headed.

I can't imagine a man such as yourself not smacking someone who pushed his wife, and yeah, it can be a blind rage.

I'm not diminishing the magnifying effect of how bad it can be. The best thing I can say is to meet with a therapist or a psych how understands about hep c and will consult with your hep docs before writing you a scrip. I believe in helper meds - they literally can save us from ourselves. And, there is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking that help anymore than there is for needing something for nausea or aches or whatever.

You have to trust your instincts and listen to what your mind and body are telling you and if they're telling you to be proactive and be prepared then do so now, don't wait till you're over the edge.

Be well and trust your self,
Susie

[Helen]

And then again, some of us just have bad tempers

[Hank's mom]

I almost forgot to add this, so…

I just had dinner with one of my oldest and best friends and we were talking about those who are almost overly open about their drug pasts. Not that that information isn't part of the package, but I think the general public needs to understand that, while iv drug use is the predominant cause of infection, blood transfusion, needle sticks to doctors, nurses and dental personell, all benign and all part of an era when none of us knew any better are also part of the equation and shouldn't be lumped into one pile off hand. It's not fair to them or any of us, and why many people feel like they don't have to care about a bunch of lowlifes.

For the first time ever, I think and hope, she really heard me explain that blood is the only known transmitter of hcv - not saliva, not simple touch, not form dirty hands. I always have noticed she checks repeatedly if I have washed my hands when I help her prepare food - in reality, she thought I was a walking, infecting machine, wow, talk about a wake up call.

This is a bright educated woman who also doesn't give up on offering me a glass of wine or something nice like a Lemoncello. Also, she wants to head a team to help me fundraise for the out-of-pocket costs I expect to have just before and certainly after my transplant. It gets old repeating the message, but for her I take the time. I gave her other statistics, but think it would be best after all if I am my representative.

When I first found out, it coincided with me having to take time off work for kidney stone issues and to have a herniated disc repaired. My boss and co-workers were so careful to protect my image that hey just said I was really sick. When I walked into the café where I worked, friends and regulars came over held me, looked into my eyes with tears in theirs and asked where was my cancer and how long did the docs say I have - sheesh. I immediately set the record straight and found that more people had also had it, gone through treatments, or had a friend, sibling, cousin, whoever, that was HCV positive.

I have refused to do anything but hold my head high, I'm sick, this is the way it is, and if someone want s me to feel guilty, that's their problem, not mine. Heck, those people never liked me anyway.

It takes a little to educate those who are receptive and for those who won't walk graciously away, at least that's been my philosophy.

Be well,
Susie

[robin]

Susie...have you qualified for Medicare? My medical expenses for last year were only $10,000 (on taxes) which is about half of what it had been running. On my transplant, I have paid very little out because the hospital accepts what Medicare pays and then my part B covers most of the other costs. I have been more than surprised at how reasonable my bills have been. The hospital didn't recommend any kind of fund raising to cover expenses and so far, all is managable. We only have a couple of months when we have expensive medicine bills and then I'm out of the donut and they pick up again. Might be something you want to check into. Keep your spirits high...robin

[Hank's mom]

Thanx Robin -
I'll look into that, but it would be for catastrophic charges - I don't know if they do that. I have excellent insurance with very low co-pays. When I was in the hospital my combined bills came to $50,000, but we only had to copay about $1000 not including scrips when I got home, but still a bargain.

The fund-raising, which the team did recommend I do, actually have done removed from me and put in a trust, for all the other out-of-pocket expenses such as a place in Boston, near the hospital - it may turn out to be a hotel which will discount the rate for a long-term need - and there is an excellent one in the hospital complex for just such issues or for families to be near someone. The extra food and so forth I'll need. Right now I am figuring on a month or so before and three after. When I go up the 30th, I'll find out more. The recommend the large amount for all the in case scenarios  - longer time, transportation to and from, who knows. They just want patients to be as financially secure so that there are no major life expenses with no money available, the panic it might cause, or cheaper, but less safe choices.

Either way, whatever I don't need can be held in the trust for the first year in case and then disbursed to others if I don't need it. That's certainly my hope to be able to literally pay it forward.

It's been 3 years since I've able to contribute anything and have 3 kids in college. Right now disability covers my copays only, with a little left for gas to get me to and from appointments and the pharm. I'm sure an increase could happen, but can't believe it would cover even the basics. 

It sure is a learning experience,
Susie

[jody13]

THe question came up about the cost and the dounut hole. I went with AARP plans there isn't a hole that I can find.  It beats any thing I could find. Humana` uis a lot higher and pays less. A prescription that cost me 16.80 on humana cost me 4 on the aarp plan. and the cost is 0 and 0. Where the other was 24 I think.